The phone
rings downstairs, and I knew it would only be a matter of seconds before I hear
my name, so I get up and hurry to the phone. I answer with my usual
half-hearted “Hello,” not really interested, until I heard what the caller had
to say. I drop the phone.
Spring. I
think. Every day was spring when he was around. We were walking in the park,
where we always ventured to get away from the city’s incessant buzzing. He was
playing with my fingers. I smiled, and so did he.
I run blindly
up the stairs again, force my door open, take the keys off my nightstand and
fly back down and through the front door. Everything seems to move in slow
motion, and I can’t make my legs move quicker.
Winter this
time. I remember the melting snowflakes in his hair, making it an even darker
shade of brown. The cold, icy wind makes me shiver involuntarily and he puts
his arm around me and smiles gently…
My eyes start
to water as I speed along the winding main road, but whether from the wind or
the thick lump in my throat I don’t know. I try to focus my attention on the
road and the wind pelting my face, but I can’t keep my mind from falling back
into the past, to the memories.
Still winter,
we sit by the frozen lake on a bench by the water’s edge. His laugh echoes from
behind the trees as he laughs at one of my comments. The world suddenly seems a
brighter place, as it always does when he laughs…
His laugh
still echoes in my head as I park awkwardly in the hospital parking lot. A
distant, fading sound. Unwillingly, I sink back into another memory, the most
recent…yesterday.
Spring again,
but the winter chill is still present. The leaves on the trees are just
starting to bud. He took my hand and looked deeply into my eyes, as he always
does when he has something on his mind. It felt like he was looking into my
soul. He seemed to stumble over the words forming on his tongue for a moment
before he righted himself and took what was left of my breath away with three
little words…
“I love you.”
The words
still echo in my ears as I make my way through the seemingly endless maze of
white-washed walls and tears fill my eyes again, but I blink them away and
force myself forward and focus on finding his room. I turn into another passage
and scan the doors for the right number. I finally see it and stop dead in my
tracks. I take a deep breath to brace myself before I enter.
Relief washes
over me and fresh tears fill my eyes as he opens his at the sound of my
footsteps. I walk slowly to his side, not bothering to wipe them away. As I
take his hand, he fills the room with the sweetest, most beautiful sound in the
world.
“Hey.”
