Confusion

I've been a very bad blog writer lately. I would love to blame it on matric, the amount of work, university applications, an operation and recovery, a busy social life or even an overload of creative ideas, but the truth is (even though all these factors have eaten up a huge deal of my brain lately, especially the whole university thing) I haven't had anything to post recently. My creativity levels have been null and void since the March exams ended.

Now I know that this isn't exactly a problem, since I think I have a total readership of 2, but it's been a while since I've written anything not related to school. And I don't like this. Its disturbing to think that I might be neglecting one of my favorite pastimes. It makes me wonder.

In truth, my mind has been a very dark and obscure place lately. I've been feeling a lot of conflicting emotions about a lot of situations, ranging from the standard friend trouble to what could possibly be a medical mystery relieving itself on my left arm. A lot of thoughts have yet to find their way on paper or a computer screen (though I don't think some of them should) and I need to get cracking. Even as I sit here, the deep voice of  John Paul White from The Civil Wars distracts me and I find myself staring at the keyboard wondering what to write and what the actual point of this post is.

I think this is a point in itself. There's so much going on in our minds that we don't share, and this makes us wonder who we are and why we find ourselves in the situations we're in. In times of confusion like these I find it necessary to take a step back to think about and reassess a few things. Take a few minutes or maybe even a few hours and just be by yourself. Let your thoughts have their way with you and I know how scary this is to do, but its good for the soul, or so I'm told. Let them escape through a muffled giggle, tear, pen, lyric or music note. But what ever you do, do not get up and and worry about them as intensely anymore. If you can, don't even worry about them at all, though I know this can also be quite difficult. But if you never try, you might be stuck with them for a while, and that might cause even more confusion. And don't let that become an anchor, because if you do, your ship might never find a decent place to dock.

Honestly, I have no idea what I just wrote. I promise my next post will be more coherent and will actually make sense. I hope.